isaac brock continue singing those awfully depressing songs.
they speak to me

i'm awake at 7:16 in the morning. i've been awake since like five, i woke up with alcoholic dehydration and now i'm just awake. I would smoke weed to put myself to sleep but i only have a little bit. and i don't want to waste it on just going back to bed. I'm sticking with penn state altoona although i felt stuck here before. This was the only place i applied and got into. so now i'm here. and i've met awesome people here. i'd say ten to one though, ten shit people for every one awesome person. there's an american apparel ad right beside this text box thing. hipsters.\

i've only been to the point, what, once? twice? this entire semester. Which is weird because last year that was the inevitable weekend destination. and by weekend i mean from thursday until sunday. Plus everyone that sold weed lived up there.
I don't know where they get off charging ridiculous amounts of money for buds here. but i guess a good deal of them are coming from spoiled rich kids and not old head hippies.

i have a lot ofgerman homework to do. i have nothing interesting to say.

so now im listening to some french synth pop.

dialectical reasoning is the compromise sorted out of the conflict of two opposing viewpoints; as hegel says a synthesis between a thesis and it's antithesis. in discourse and conversation, and other such daily conflicts, humans bounce about with their ego as a bubble around them, filled in with their beliefs. when communicating or being communicated to, the individual refers to a belief within their ego to see if the other's ego bubble is permeable and absorbs it or if it vehemently rejects it.

the object of dialectical reasoning is to change the vehement rejection into a compromised position.

i started at the outback today, i bus tables for a living and to be honest it's not that bad of a job. i'm quite a fan of it actually. my problem is despite how much i want to work at a restaurant (because if you can do chains, you can do anything sub college degree) it's like this is the chain that bought out indie rock.

this is the chain that makes no sense. what the fuck is australian cuisine? it's an excuse to charge too much for a steak and drinks is what. i mean the food is really quality, but australia is devoid of culture, thus are the figures inside an outback steakhouse. an outback is where the rednecks go when they be havin a fancy day or when the people who equate happiness with suv's and debt up to their eyeballs pay for restaurants with their plastic cards that enable them to do so much.
the world is horribly fucked up and i am embracing it as if it were a line of coke or a woman's body.
speaking of coke i do too much of it but i love it and i can't help it i don't spend any money on it so what's the problem? i did some yesterday but it's not a common thing for me to do. but i somehow manage to tell the few coke stories i have to everyone i meet. i am horribly drunk right now as well as stoned, but in the car i felt as ifi wasn't fucked up enough to pass out. that made me feel uncomfortable. and that same feeling made me feel even worse. the fact that i couldn't bear to sleep right now without either writing some horrible essay relating how depressed i am and how happy i am about it disgusts me.

i call myself out too much. i need to bump along in life.













there's a man down the street, which has no lines and crosses a boulevard incorporated into what was once a small town. He's fucked up on something, he's babbling to himself in his leather sleeveless vest that he's probably had for thirty years. His mouth is reminiscent of an ancient decaying cave with stalagmites jutting out like Denmark.  the city of altoona usurped juniata somewhere around the time all the streets were labelled north or west. it's a small town on the edge of what must have been at one point and time a city. When I look at pennsylvania I see a few major places: Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Allentown, Harrisburg respectfully. I see it in population for the top 3 and then the capital. But there are these little Allentowns and Harrisburgs all across the state, forgotten and oxidizing away in this great land known as the rust belt.